Discovery, Clarity & Beyond
by Rochelle Griffin
As I sit in my Tahitian bungalow, I find myself very reflective about my life. I knew, that coming here, I was seeking clarity but had no clue exactly what that meant or how it would look. I only knew that when I received it, I would know. Kind of cryptic, yes?
One year ago, I was in France, not only on an amazing biking trip but on a journey of self-discovery. You see, over the course of 20 yrs, I had lost myself…my essence. I see now that it actually never went anywhere, but it was buried deep underneath my “caregiver” roles as a wife, mom, RN, & coach. I spent so much time taking care of others that I completely forgot about myself. France was the beginning of removing layers of crap as I tried to figure out exactly who I was and what I had to offer the world. What did “I” have to say? The journey was often exhilarating and took me to some amazing places around the country and world. The journey also, sadly, took me away from my husband and son…physically and emotionally. At the time, I didn’t see it that way, but in truth and quite bluntly, it did. I had also fallen away from my God…stopped talking to Him. I was a mess but didn’t recognize it. I was selfish. I was running away but didn’t see it.
So here I sit…looking at the most beautiful turquoise water…with the breeze blowing…thinking about the past year. Now that a year has past, I can say with absolute certainty that I know exactly who I am. I know what I stand for. I know what I have to offer the world. I found myself again. Even with all that clarity, I still knew in my gut that I was coming to Tahiti seeking “something.”
That something was revealed to me yesterday…like a whisper. I have a good life. I have friends all over the country…I have a thriving business…I’m debt-free…I travel to amazing places. From the outside looking in, people think that I “have it all.” I realized yesterday, however, that when everything is stripped down to the bare basics, I’m simply a girl who wants to be with her men. If I’m not with the people I love, sharing these amazing experiences, what is the point?
These may not seem like revelations to you, but for me, it’s huge. I traveled all over looking for “something” to fulfill me…for adventure, but it turns out that I’m most fulfilled at home. My men love me and accept me with all of my flaws, warts, idiosyncrasies, and craziness. Sometimes regular day-to-day living is adventure enough. I have this “ideal life” in my head and there is NO reason why I can’t have it. Turns out my “ideal life” centers around my husband and son. Everything else can fit around that center of influence. In fact, I made the decision to cancel a trip to Africa this year. Again, it would have taken me away from my family. When I told my son yesterday that I canceled it and explained why, his response was one of relief. He needs his mom.
I’m excited for this next year now that I know exactly WHO I am and exactly WHERE I’m supposed to be. Life is what I create. It’s been an amazing, crazy, sometimes painful journey to get to this point. I’m ready for the next step.
So now I pose a question to you…do YOU know exactly WHO you are and WHERE you are supposed to be? If the answer is no or if it’s a bit fuzzy, I can tell you that if you are willing to do the work, you can find the answer…and the answer is already within you.
A Toast to Your Health,
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