Say NO to Boundary Issues
By Rochelle Griffin
Do you struggle with saying no or with being a “people pleaser?” If you answered yes, you have what we refer to as “boundary” issues. I didn’t think that I did but realized this past week that I was on the edge. Consider this sandwich: moving into a new home, Disney World vacation, military school.
Let me explain…my hubby and I are in the process of moving into a new house. We originally thought that we would be in the home last month, but unforeseen roadblocks delayed everything. At this very moment, the house is ready…right when we are supposed to be on vacation at Disney World. Two days after we are to return from our vacation, my hubby leaves for military school. Bring on the stress!
For about 6 weeks, I waffled back and forth about our vacation…should we, shouldn’t we? Because we live in Florida, we go to Disney World all the time…but this vacation would be free…a reward from Beachbody. UGH!
Finally last weekend, the stress became too much and I took a step back to look at everything from an outside perspective. I asked myself “what do I want my life to look like?” Well, that was an easy answer. I want a happy, stable, and secure family life.
I realized in that moment that I was allowing outside influences to invade my boundaries. Although I knew that a vacation in the midst of moving and military school preparation wasn’t ideal, I didn’t want to let anyone down. Funny thing is that I wasn’t letting down my family…they were feeling the same stress that I was. I didn’t want to let down my Beachbody friends. I felt an obligation to go.
In that moment, the right decision became crystal-clear: cancel the vacation.
I felt the stress melt-away once we made that decision. We WILL still take our vacation but after the military school and on our own terms. Will it be free? Nope…and we are totally ok with that. It may not be as extravagant as it would have been “Beachbody style” but we will be together as a family and not stressing about getting home to pack and move.
A fabulous book to read is Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud. It was this book that made me realize I was responsible for the stress that I was allowing into my life and helped me make the decision to cancel the vacation.
Lack of boundaries or the invasion of our boundaries can happen in our life, personal or professional. It may take the form of constantly being available for everything so that you don’t have the time for yourself to exercise. Or it may look like a revolving door where people have access to you all hours of the day and you want to throw your computer or smartphone at the wall.
Here is the tip that I want you to take-away: YOU have control over all of this. You have the ability to set boundaries so that your life begins to take the shape of the one that you envision for yourself and your family.
All you need to realize is that YOU have the power…and have had it all along.
To Living Your Best Life,
Rochelle Griffin, RN BSN FDN-P
Rochelle Griffin, The Wellness Detective™, is a Registered Nurse (with over 22 years experience) & a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition™ Practitioner who has transitioned her love for fitness, health, & freedom into a 7-figure International company that now helps others live Their Best Life.
She founded Your Best Life, Inc with her husband Keith after stepping onto the edge of physical ruin with her health & the health of their young son. Having experienced a complete turn-around, they now desire to give hope & support to those who are dissatisfied with their current situation.
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