How My Body Image Changed with the Time Zones
by Rochelle Griffin
Here I am, in Bora Bora Tahiti…just a girl from FL now on the other side of the world. Friday was my first full day here as a guest with the Top Ten Beachbody coaches…and what do I do? Obsess. Huh, you say? You are at one of the most beautiful locations on earth and you are obsessing? Ummmm…yes? Let me explain. You see, I’ve been uncomfortable with my body for most of my life…concerned about how I look…feeling fat, ugly. So when I emotionally ate and became fat…well, I lived up how I felt. These feelings of inadequacy led to years of yo-yo dieting that so many people, men and women, experience.
Even now…coming here…I see pictures just from yesterday and obsess. Those thoughts of “damn, I shouldn’t have skipped that one workout. Or UGH…why did I eat that rice that one day.” I see my flaws…where I would like to be not as thick, where I would like to be more tone, more muscle. My brain starts to question…”am I being judged? DO I look fat to others?”
I tend to see the bad in my physical appearance…not the good..even when I’m told otherwise. I fight feelings of inadequacy. I can’t begin to tell you how many times my husband has told me how beautiful I am to him. When I argue back…and yes, I HAVE argued back…how crazy is that?…he just looks at me and shakes his head. It’s so hard sometimes to believe it. It’s because how I feel has to come from inside of me…not from external sources. My brain KNOWS that…but my brain likes to mess with me.
Anyways, fast forward to the first night here. We were treated to an after-dinner, authentic Polynesian show. I was amazed. Here were women…and men…of all ages, dancing for us. Their outfits were very tiny. Guess what? They had MEAT on their bodies…they had bellies…they had some back fat…and it was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever seen. Their smiles radiated from within. They GLOWED. They were obviously very comfortable with their bodies and felt beautiful. It was an amazing, eye-opening moment for me. If “I” had been up there as one of the dancers, in the tiny coconut shell tops and sarongs, I would have been considered way too skinny. My body type is not what is revered here in Tahiti.
What have we done to ourselves as an American society? How have we all fed into this crazy ideal? Here I am, in my 40’s, and this idea STILL haunts and follows me. I still stress when I eat what I know that I shouldn’t…and then pat myself on the back when I’m “good.” Why can’t we just be comfortable with who we are?
Now, am I saying that we shouldn’t workout or eat nutritious food? Of course not. I am all about living a healthy lifestyle. I’m talking about when you take that healthy lifestyle to another level and let it affect our inner voice…when we start to obsess and stop enjoying life because we are worried about what others think of us because we ate that piece of bread and our belly isn’t flat.
I’m done. I want to celebrate myself…as a women…as a person. I want to simply connect with others…on a deeper level. If you connect to any piece of what I’m saying, I want to challenge you to look within also. Remember, no one can make you feel inadequate without YOUR permission. How is that for some warm, French Polynesian water thrown in your face? Now…go out and BE extraordinary!
A Toast to Your Health,
Rochelle Griffin is a Registered Nurse with over 20 years experience who has transitioned her love for fitness, health, & freedom into a 6-figure company that now helps others live the life of their dreams.
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AMEN, sista! Love this!
Rochelle,
I totally get what you are saying, I am still on the big side of that equation. I started my masters program two years ago this summer and one of my classes was called “group counseling” where we not only learned how to run groups but the class itself was also our own group with our professor as the counselor. It was as this aspect that I, for the very first time, opened up to others about how I truly felt about me. I had not been in a real relationship with with someone in over ten years and that was because I hated myself so much that I just didn’t think it would be fair to ask some girl out when I look like I do and I never would want to make someone feel so uncomfortable as to have to reject me. My program at Stetson has helped me realize that I am MUCH more than what others “SEE” and its about who the TOTAL me is and what I “DO” that is important. I am a HELPER, I am a GIVER, I am A SON, I am a BROTHER and UNCLE, I am a TEACHER and I am a MAN. So, do I want to look better so to better give myself a better chance to attract someone, yes but I want to LIVE better for me so someone truly SEES me for ALL that I am. We have known each other for many, many years but I can honestly say to you know that I have not truly KNOWN you until this BeachBody program and what I KNOW now is you are soooo much more than your IMAGE, you are the totality of what you do. What you do is HELP, GIVE, CARE, LOVE, MOTHER and INSPIRE others lucky enough to be in your life and that Rochelle is what true happiness in life is all about. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you DO thunders above you so loudly, all the while, I cannot hear what you say”.
Philip, I don’t have time to fully respond right now due to time constraints…but you’ve just brought me to tears.
I understand, I shed a few writing it. We’ll talk later when you get back, oh btw weighed in, measured and took pics today. 30 days in and 29lbs lost, 4.5 inches off my chest, 2.5 off each arm, 3 off waist, and 3 off each thigh!!!!!! All thanks to life changes on my part and what you do for others so THANKS!!
I am standing and applauding! I have been each step you mentioned – 15 years ago when I was body building – my mind was so focused on what I ate and how much and how long I would have to exercise if I had a “bad” day. I am now heavier than I want to be but I am happier than I have ever been. THIS time when I got back into the gym it was for a whole new season … for me… for my health … because I enjoy it. Not for one other person but me. If someone likes what they see… that is ok…but when I look in the mirror I want to smile *wink* and be happy.
AMEN!!!!!!!!